Im afraid you have a bad case of poo stance

Fact Sheet 1

What is Poo Stance:-

Poo stance is a MTB slang term for crouching behind the saddle (also known as the muck spreader). The term comes from the position the rider adopts; Perfectly placed to take a dump and not get any on your saddle. You will however dump on your back wheel and therefore flick it all over your bike - hence "the muck spreader". There are times when this position is appropriate, for example if you are on really steep terrain, in which case this can be described as surfing your back wheel - but in the case below, this rider is not balanced aka the terrain is not dictating the riders position.

(When I first set up my website (well Nick Wood from thewhitewood did) he sent me some images to help stock it and this pic below was one of the them. I couldn't use it, my Whistler coaching colleagues would laugh in my face, I said.)

Straight on the back wheel
Straight on the back wheel

This poor girl has the "fear". Funny things are happening and shes not to sure what to make of it all.

How do I know this? Well it's my job! I'm a full time professional coach and the second you swing your leg over your bike in a car park us guys have a jolly good idea what the crack is. Here's a brief list of tell tail signs:

  1. Stance and balance are well out - this is the big one - Look at her her feet! As she fatigues that right leg will begin to straighten and the left leg will develop more of an angle - Then comes the BURN!
  2. Open face helmet and fingerless gloves on a DH bike
  3. Inappropriate riding shoes
  4. 3 fingers over the brake lever - (the second it gets rough you're going to wish you had at least one more finger round the bar).

She's not alone, some of you reading this post will have been afflicted by such stance and balance or you know someone who has a bad case. Don't panic it is not contagious, but we must tell them by drawing attention the affliction (they won't know).

To do this effectively we must catch the rider in the act - then stand facing the afflicted, raise our right arm and extend index finger and shout "poo stance, poo stance!" and squat like you're having a poo! Then encourage them to seek our professional help.

When they know it is happening they can begin the healing.

Do you suffer from Poo stance? Self diagnosis has its risks but...:-

  1. Do your quads burn on sustained descents?
  2. Can you feel you body go stiff the second the bike points downhill?
  3. Do you stare at your front wheel?
  4. Are you rubbish at going round corners?

If you answered yes to all of them theres a real chance your in danger. Catch it before it becomes terminal. If you answered yes to question 1 and it is worse in one leg book into our Fundamentals course right now!

Disclaimer:-

  1. This girl may actually be an XC whippet but she is not accustomed to taking weight on her legs or the feel of full sus.
  2. If your friend is locked in Poo stance don't shout at them while they are riding, you may put them off and cause an accident.
  3. I'm taking the piss with this article but it is real. Be nice to your friends or they may be shouting at you instead of getting you to hospital when you stack it big time in front of them :-)
  4. If you generally ride in the Peak District you may think this is normal. Its not and its also directly linked to why you hate trail centres. Poo stance don't work going round corners :-)

If you would like any further information on this please contact you local riding GP, in the Sheffield area thats jpj@alinecoaching.co.uk.

Thank you for taking the time to read this fact sheet and please spread the word, Poo Stance is a laughing matter.

JPJ

Ps poo stance poo stance